Struggling to cope and feeling overwhelmed?

Weekly Radish 30

What are the traps and how to better navigate our emotions?

In this week’s video I  touch on the role our emotions play in how we cope and the two traps we can fall into when we struggle to deal with emotional overwhelm.  I also provide a different way to think about how we handle our emotions. This is one of a series of weekly radish blogs in which I explore how we cope with our emotions and how we handle them (or rather how they can handle us) when they overwhelm us.  Watch the video and reflect on how much tie you actually spend in emotional overwhelm, or being over-ruled by your emotions.  And, as you do, reflect on what tends to trigger those emotions.  Sometimes, it is genuinely big events or experiences that trigger the reactions.  And that's just fine.  That's what emotions are for.  But how often do we find ourselves being swept away by our emotions in response to smaller events and experiences?

When running workshops and speaking at events and conferences I get asked about coping strategies, particularly relating to managing our emotions.  This is a key area in maintaining our wellbeing and our performance and focus, so it’s no wonder.  I know I have fallen into trap no.2 (in the video - not the… erm toilet!) many times, so this is a subject close to my heart.  Next week I explore how emotions hook us.

Keep an eye out for the next blog. transcript for video below.

Dave Algeo
Motivational Speaker on resilience and men's mental health. 


Feeling maxed out?  No headspace, time or energy? Here's a short video with three tips to help you.

Transcript:

- Are you struggling to cope
and feeling overwhelmed?

(gentle guitar music)

Hi, welcome to this week's
Weekly Radish, which is one

of three where I'll look at
emotional coping and how we can

develop our emotional coping
towards the more positive.

And, just watch out at the
end for how you can claim

a free PDF, which gives you six key tools

in better emotional coping.

But for now, this week,
what I want to focus on is

the traps that we can fall into when we

find ourselves struggling
to cope with emotions.

So I wanna look at two traps
and offer an alternative

way to look at how we can
view emotional coping.

So Trap Number One,

(camera clicking)

getting swept away with our emotions.

(water rushing)

Emotions have evolved to be

acted upon, to be responded
to, not to be ignored

and what can sometimes happen,
for many of us, is that

we get so overwhelmed and caught
up in the emotional moment

that we get swept away with them.

And everything we do is as a result

of that getting swept away.

So, it's worth reflecting
on whether that's something

that you are prone to.

If not, it may be that you
fall for Trap Number Two.

(camera clicking)

I'm not talking about toilets here.

I recognise that when I'm
talking about Trap One, Trap Two,

I'm not talking about toilets,
although it can make you

feel pretty rotten, let's be right.

But Trap Number Two

is

the temptation, when we start
to feel emotions boiling,

is that we start to push it down, dam up,

bottle it up, keep it
in, and hold it back.

And that is a trap because

the dangers are two-fold here.

One, we bottle the emotions up in a bid

not to experience them,
not to get swept away,

and we crush them down and
in the process we can crush

down the positive as well as the negative,

and flatten out all emotions.

And actually, it's almost like

a still pond.

Things can stagnate.

Those emotions can corrode
and change into something

else and something a lot more damaging.

The other danger with
that trap is that they

mount and mount and
eventually the dam bursts.

And we get swept away with them anyway,

so we're back to Trap One.

So, just reflect on
whether you might be prone

to Trap One or Trap Two.

And what I want to offer you is

just a way to think about
it a little bit differently.

As I said, your emotions are
not intended to be ignored.

So, let's just assume that
your emotions are a bit

like navigating the rough seas.

Sometimes it'll be calm
waters, sometimes choppy.

Sometimes pretty rough.

And like that little boat that's
trying to navigate through,

we need to sometimes roll with the waves,

but ultimately navigate
through towards an end point.

And that's where positive
coping tools and strategies

can come in handy, just
like a good compass and good

navigation and sailing
skills can come in handy

on those rough seas.

So, just some food for
thought this week to reflect

on how you're coping emotionally.

Do you fall into the trap
of getting swept away?

Are you somebody who
dams up their emotions?

And, just let's think about
how we can more positively

navigate the rough seas of our emotions.

So, some food for thought
there in relation to how you

manage your emotions.

Don't forget, if you click
this link you can claim

your free PDF, which gives
you six simple steps to

more positively managing your emotions.

And next week we'll be
looking a little bit more

into this emotional coping
and how we get hooked

by our emotions.

(gentle music)